I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
