She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We don't watch enough power rangers
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
