So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
