We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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