Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
