I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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