let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
