Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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