Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
