I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
