my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
