I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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