that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
