I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
