My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
