i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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