3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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