Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
