Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
