you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
