More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
