Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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