Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
