hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
