can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
