in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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