I bet he comes in French.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
