It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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