Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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