forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize