She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
