There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There was a lot of him and a little penis
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
