So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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