What a fucking waste of an outfit
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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