brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
