Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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