I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
