1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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