I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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