i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How's work?
Spinning.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
