I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
