When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
