I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
