We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
