Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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