FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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