In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
