Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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