cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize