VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
