Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
