We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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