And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
