My first STD was from a foam party
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
