I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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