I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
