Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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