idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
