Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
