Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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