at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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