nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
