Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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