You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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