i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
