I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
