The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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